This post comes from a guest blogger: John Buck, Director of Housing and Residential Life & Associate Dean of Students at Webster University
Although it was a mere matter of weeks ago when your student arrived to Webster University, it may now feel like it was longer. Gone for many parents are the uneasy feelings of apprehension that come along with dropping your child off at college. Let’s not minimize that, though - it can be a difficult transition for parents to make, whether your student is the first or last to attend college in your family.
Fall break at Webster, though, can bring parents a new sense of excitement: a happy, 5-day homecoming to be spent with the family, providing a small glimpse back to when this sort of thing happened all of the time. Yet, it’s important to know one thing as fall break approaches: while this homecoming affords you and your family to spend quality time with your student, it may not quite be the way it always was.
Autumn brings many seasonal changes, most notably the changing colors of leaves on trees. Similarly, you will begin to notice changes in your student as well – some stark and obvious, some more subtle. Consider the following: In roughly eight short weeks, they’ve embarked on a great adventure of managing their own time, own decisions, own money, own sleep schedule, own laundry and own class attendance. In their short time here thus far, you can be assured your student has seen faces never before seen (wonder where she’s from?), participated in programs never before thought remotely interesting (throw a pie in the Dean of Student's face anyone?), and have shared stories with people from places they never been to (I have no idea where that is!). All of these things, and many more, begin to impact your student’s values, opinions and worldview.
So what does that mean for the upcoming respite called fall break? Here’s some food for thought as you prepare to welcome them home in a couple of weeks:
- Anticipate hearing them say things you never thought they’d say, but resist the urge to interpret that as a fundamental shift of the mindset of your student. It’s likely a reflection of something new and interesting they may not fully understand themselves.
- Anticipate hearing something s/he did that sounds outrageous, but resist the urge to demand a full explanation as to what in the world they were thinking when they did whatever it was they said they did. Instead, engage the conversation in a way that looks at consequences and long-term effects of decisions made now (while at the same time remembering what you were like at 18-19 years old!).
As students experience their first year of college, it can seem as if your student has one foot out the door, and they want to ignore home as they begin the journey to adulthood. It has always been the role of parents and families to make that stepping out the door possible. But in my experience, there are times when they want to make sure that home base is solid and predictable. Enjoy the time fall break affords you to visit with your student, remembering that they are probably looking forward to the visit as well. But just as you notice the leaves beginning to change in the fall, you’ll begin to also notice changes as your child visits home on breaks and describes their experience of being a college student.
