Roommates--Friend or Foe

Now that your son/daughter has had a few weeks to settle in to their home away from home, he/she is probably learning a LOT about living with a roommate. He/she may have signed up to live with a best friend from high school or he/she may have been assigned someone based on the personal data sheets that accompanied the housing application. Whatever the situation, it's better for the student to communicate early and often if there are any problems. If you start hearing complaints about roommate issues from your student, suggest the following tips to help them work through any problems and live harmoniously:

• Fill out a roommate agreement form. These are available from the housing office or from the RA. This will help set apartment standards regarding guests, cleanliness, possessions, noise, and more. That way, if a disagreement arises, there is a written form stating what was previously agreed upon.
• Don't be afraid to be assertive regarding basic rights and needs.*
• Do not let little annoyances bother you. Especially things that your roommate cannot change (e.g. an accent).*
• If your roommate really starts to get on your nerves, just leave the room for a little while to avoid a fight. When you return, you can confront her or perhaps you will not even remember what was bothering you in the first place.*
  
• Remember that you have a right to be treated with respect, as does your roommate.*
  
• Be tolerant.*
• Compromise. There has to be a little give and take.*
• Learn from each other. Be open-minded to your roommate’s point-of-view and listen to his/her side.*
• If the problems go beyond all these suggestions, schedule a mediation with your RA. Sometimes it helps to have an unbiased third party to help talk things out.

With a little communication and compromise, hopefully your son/daughter can have a great roommate experience. Some students start college with the idea that their roommate will be their best friend. It does not always work out that way, but we want to make sure that they can at least be good roommates, not enemies.

*Cited from http://www.bsu.edu/students/cpsc/library/roommate/